Comments on: Dating Single Mothers

By: maxine

maxine — Fri, 27 May 2011 18:14:50 +0000

You are so brilliant Amber for sharing your thought about this. You know, in my experience, it was so tough to be a single mom and i love myself for having the courage to show the world I could give the best things for my kids. I never rely on these men at all. If they like me, that’s fine. But I don’t force them to like my kids….

By: Ali

Ali — Wed, 06 May 2009 05:55:38 +0000

Amber, so many Kudos to you, your efforts here (even with new baby), and your young family. I found you tonight, after being ‘incensed’ at blatantly ignorant (or designed-to-be-inflammatory) comments on an article re: single parent current struggles (nod to single dads)currently faced in our great nation, on USA Today (paired with ‘Economic Homeless’ exploding ‘tent cities’). I was at an important community leadership breakfast some years ago in San Diego, and the Keynote Speaker was a wonderful, ground-breaking Doctor raised by a single mom…Dr. Ben Carson. I have been an active Democrat since switching from Repu-(sorry can’t finish that) age 22. I have been paying taxes since 14; I am 39. I have my degrees, I have two kids; I am a proud single mom (by choice? NO! Accepting serial cheating -even before you/great woman/wife come along- is not detectable until too late).

In this new economy, I realize I won’t see my $27/hr salary, or health/dental insurance for some time. I just dated a similar high-functioning narcissistic “Carl.” (Funny how powerful Google is to find you and put you at top of the heap based on my query when your actual article/post was so long ago) I am convinced that Carl is an alien infected with malignant narcissism (not illegal), and has left the planet or sadly died silently without feeling love or validation that he desperately needed. Funny when people comment like he (100% ignorantly) on such a profound issue. My retort would be: “Careful… give yourself a hug, and when you come out of surgery, make sure you thank the Surgeon/Doctor/Nurses… they may have came from a single mom (parent) that you have spent so much precious time on earth slamming with vile, reckless abandonment.”

We all have gifts; some struggle to find them. Parent or not, being a single person/no mate or parent is a special, often no-choice-yet-blessed position.

Thanks, Amber – please don’t totally go ‘silent’ — you speak of fun/love/strife-over-struggle…regardless of ‘status’…single (happy) parent, or single… you go, girl!!! THANK YOU for being here! “No venom”; JUST viable, *real solutions*/love (without alterior motives obviously)…citations/facts far too numerous to list here…

Much love and *big hugs ~as a human being*… A.

P.S. Please do write again soon ~ when you can (best of health/wealth wishes to you)…

By: Amber

Amber — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:47:49 +0000

It’s not that I don’t think the advantage exists. Because, in all honesty, you’re absolutely right. It does! No, it may seem fair, but since when was life ever completely fair. That’s something that we as single moms just have to deal with. Women without children can definitely be more desirable, but they don’t deserve love more than we do. Nor do I think men should just steer completely clear of women with children. We’re good people too

I would never expect a man to immediately get know my children either. I would need to “research” them, shall we say, and when we’re all ready then the children can become involved. Ask my fiance. We’ve been dating for over a year now and my kids (my daughter especially) are still getting use to the idea of sharing mommy with someone. It’s a hard road and takes a special man to decide he wants to get involved. But I’m glad he did!

Great comment Eric! Thank you for sharing it with us.

By: Eric

Eric — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 07:52:25 +0000

When a man first meets a woman, he likely has *zero* attachment to her children. Although he might find her devotion as a single parent attractive, the negatives–increased stress, uncertainty, awkwardness, obligations, etc.–far outweigh the benefits. This feeling can change, but that is likely how it is initially.

Skinny women with naturally large boobs and thin waists who smile and laugh a lot are generally found to be more physically attractive. That’s not to say that these women deserve any more (or less) love than other women, but they still have an attractive advantage. Even though looks are only foot-in-the-door, they still matter, if only initially. Likewise, women without children also have an advantage. It sucks and it’s not fair… honestly it isn’t. But, all said and done, it’s also naive to think (or refuse to understand) that this advantage does in fact exist.

By: William McCraw

William McCraw — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 06:55:33 +0000

As a Single Father, I was shunned by many in almost any community I came to live in. I know and understand how it feels to experience this type of prejudice.
Being a single parent is a lesson in perserverence as well as Love.
Do single parents deserve Love?… More than anyone, yes!
Should a MAN run from single mom’s… No a MAN never run’s… even from the occassion flying cell phone. Ha ha ha ha.
But, that’s just it. you must find a MAN and send the BOY home… Little Boys always run away… so pack him a pb and j, tell him its a big world out there and that he’s a brave little soldier and send him back home to mommy… Single mom’s have enough children to raise without having to raise another child, who is not their own.

Carl, Grow up!… don’t worry the boogeyman is not real… he can’t hurt you anymore. Turn on your nightlight and let the grown folks talk.

To all you single mom’s… your prince is out there. Real men recognize you for the Heroes that you are.
For lessons in Love and how to spot a real man… check out my Blog.
Never give up! Remember, you are the first teacher, and the last comfort. You are the unsung Hero!

By: Tishia Lee

Tishia Lee — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 17:24:34 +0000

What a dink Carl was for making those statements. I think that single moms (myself included) are some of the most unselfish people. I’ve put some of my dreams and hopes on hold so that I could raise my son. Now how is that selfish?

As single moms we deserve just as much love as the rest of the world out there.

By: Shannon Smith

Shannon Smith — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:57:59 +0000

Sounds to me like somebody just wanted to stir up trouble. There are plenty of two parent families that ended up as criminals and drug addicts…as well as plenty of single parent families that ended up wonderful, loving, law abiding citizens.

Carl, it sounds to me like you might have a personal problem here. I’m not sure that by spouting off your ugliness you’re any better than the “single moms” and “criminals and drug addicts” you propose are not worthy of love.

My Bible however tells me everybody is worthy. Even you. You might want to turn to Him to help you let go of whatever is troubling you.

By: April

April — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 05:50:21 +0000

Carl’s just bitter because no woman will have him…not even a single mom.

By: Heather Struss

Heather Struss — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 02:17:06 +0000

Carl’s comments are some of the worst I’ve ever heard. When 50% of couples are divorcing, I think it’s just as likely for someone to be single as it would for them to be married. Never the less, single parents are also good parents and being of the opinion that their children will be degenerates simply because they are single is ignorant!

By: LaTara

LaTara — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 00:14:33 +0000

OK, where is this Carl person coming from. Whose post did he read and then make the mistake to comment here.

Speaking as a former single mom, let me say that Dr. Neder is WRONG and should be ashamed of himself. Sure there are things you want to consider but to say turn and run is just downright silly!